“Domestic Violence and my Experience, Strength and Hope With it for Myself and other Survivors”, by kimberly Koerber-Bauer-Koerber, January 9, 2014
“What if you had to live in a Homeless Shelter because of having that choice or the choice of living on the street where the staff hated you and took out their issues on you and other women and you had no one to go to?”
Domestic Violence and my Experience, Strength and Hope With it for Myself and other survivors.
By Kimberly Koerber-Bauer-Koerber
January 9, 2014
My experience with Domestic Violence and being a SURVIVOR OR SAME, AND UNDERSTANDING THE ISSUE AS IT RELATES TO OTHER PEOPLE LEADS ME TO APPLY FOR THE “Women’s Independent Scholarship”.
The attached cartoon illustrates this concept, in regard to hearing different opinions from different people, and being stuck in the middle to be strengthened and fortified by God and self-esteem acquired, rather than listening to negative people causing more pain and abuse.
I was the oldest and ‘least favorite’ in my family of origin, and often was told that I should be glad that I had a room there, and that I owed my parents for allowing me to stay there, but this was my family of origin, and so I was constantly at the High School Guidance counselor’s office, telling him that I wanted to run away. I became very codependent during the time I was a young person and thought that if I was a better kid, and did the right things, it would matter. It never really did. My parents bragged to others about not having to provide very much but that they spent $100.00 on every one of us at Christmas, and that this was ‘even’. I had a job in high school because I had to have a job. My sister used to raid my room and steal things that she wanted, but my parent chose not to do much about this, besides tell me that I had to be ‘tougher skinned’ and more resilient, because they were not really able to stop the abuse, and not to fight with her. When things like this happened to my brother, he also became very depressed. This is because this sister was supposed to be successful, no matter how much money, time, and effort they had to put into this, and I was supposed to overcome feeling sorry for myself because this was the training. As a kid, I could not really do much about this, and decided to not run away, and went to a German psychiatrist because I was complaining so much and did not need to complain. I was told that I had my own room there, as opposed to this sister who shared a room with my youngest sister and should make an effort to safeguard my belongings since this was on ongoing issue, by getting a padlock for my bedroom door, which is what happened.
This sister wasn’t bad, and got better and better looking through drugs, first through steroids, which she took to try to ‘win’ and get into the Olympics at the time, but she also got involved with behaviors that got her put in jail, like shoplifting. She did not qualify for what she was trying to do and a gay gym teacher sexually harassed her at the time, and they discovered that instead of being the same age as other high school students she was 28 years of age. (This was my sister who was one year younger). She then got involved with amphetamines and lost a great deal of weight, but never had adult breast development in high school ever. She was then involved in cheerleading and gymnastics and was very athletic in those areas, but did not at that time go on to get into the Olympics or win but did get known by people in high school and was a very good athlete. She kept fighting with me, and her friends, and I was advised to ignore this and get involved with other things, which I did. At one point in time, I felt that I had no reason to feel sorry for myself, and was at that time an acolyte in the Episcopal Church when I was 15. I started feeling as if I was not competitive or alright at all, though and started praying to get involved in or with activities and people who would be friendly and tied in with things that I liked, instead of having to fight with and defend myself in regard to this theft. I was advised that I was not crazy, but needed more supportive ‘development’ than my parents were able to provide at that time,
And that running away would not cause this to occur, but that ignoring the alcoholism and this sister stealing and bullying people in high school and then wanting to be an important person was not my fault, even if my parents did not want to control or change her at the time, because this is why I got depressed. As a depressed teenager, I was apt to be all kinds of things, none of them good, so at one point in time, I volunteered with suicide prevention, and went through their training. This sister was supposed to be a star, they said, and got involved with a local mobster who was part of a large Italian family when he and she were still young.
This and much more, all occurred before I got married at the age of twenty. Soon after I got married, my husband, who was already married before, decided that he did not want to have sex or get involved with much with me and was not responsible for providing shoes, clothing, and other things because this is what my parents should have done and he was not my parent he said. He was 11 years older than me and was married before. I then started looking seriously at Early Childhood Development issues and
How I could be a better and more holistic parent that my parents were, and was somewhat tied into Amish and Mennonite people at the time when our son was born in Akron, Ohio because I decided to breastfeed and many Amish and Mennonite women also attend Le Leche League meeting and breastfeed their children, some until the ages of 2 or 3 years of age, which was a cultural change. Some of the women also suffered from Domestic Violence in that population group but not many because the problems with alcoholism and battery were generally settled within the communities by the Elders in private church meetings.
When I was pregnant with my son, to backtrack, “I got involved with volunteering at Meals on Wheels, in Akron Ohio and was cross trained to do the paperwork part of the agency’s functions and deliver meals to shut ins and noticed that one of the problems that Senior Citizens and others had was Domestic Violence, and fear about talking about it. This is another area where awareness and being interfaced with peers as a support is very important, because in this population also, victims feel intimidated, scared, and want the abuse stopped, but do not know what to do. My grandmother got beaten up badly at one point, and my mother called me to please go and visit her at the hospital in another state. She was then in her late 60’s and was so beaten up that some of the bruises were turng green. When I, a then married woman brought her back to Ohio to live with my spouse, our son, and myself, my mother, a rage-aholic, decided to verbally blast me but would not take responsibility to do anything about the situation or get the woman out of the problem herself and told me that I had no business interfering in this, but she sent me there to begin with, so this is another example of domestic violence, an uneven or jagged orientation or response to have to learn to deal better with, because again, I thought I was doing the right thing.
During the time I was trying to build a career, my marriage got more and more violent, and right before I filed for divorce, although I had been going to Alcoholics Anonymous for a long time and knew better, I drank about ¾ of a large jug of wine and took my clothes off and asked my husband to make love, while our son was awake and so my husband called the police and threw me in jail. I got sprayed in the eyes with pepper spray and this was the last straw with him and the reason for filing for divorce. Several years after this occurred, crooks broke into my house at about 4:00 am, raped me, and the court filed a hostile eviction because my spouse was then my ex-spouse, and was in Florida, and I could not pay bills, or get hired for some reason. All of these incidents and people affiliated with Domestic Violence in the past strengthened me, but I am now, on January 9, 2014, still trying to become more independent than staying in homeless shelters and am trying to get a Fundraising agency, called “The Indigo Drum” to be anchored in some state to employ others and get continuous funding and growth for The Indigo Drum Peace Project, featured in the blurb below:
Father John M Bauer, at St. Mary’s Basilica, Minneapolis, Minnesota, is in need of your ‘confession ‘ and tax deductible donation sent to The Indigo Drum United Nations/Catholic Church Peace Project. Link is at http://www.causes.com/causes/795928-the-indigo-drum?utm_campaign=home The Indigo Drum Peace Project: United Nations Catholic Church Peace Project. The Basilica of Saint Mary is located on Hennepin Avenue between 16th & 17th Streets in downtown Minneapolis, Minnesota. Phone: 612.333.1381
In Ohio, where I lived most of my life, crooks were using International emails to finance organized crime. Now you can send these to Father John Bauer. The Basilica will investigate them. Thanks much!
All the links on my resume explain the Peace Project more.
I am an overcomer and have worked with other victims of domestic violence in the field and at jobs, so understand that this issue is a heavy laden, volatile issue for people and that domestic violence comes in various forms in addition to physical abuse. I would like to be able to get additional education, and my FAFSA is currently on file for the current year.
My areas of Mission/Unpaid Government intern Work and Transformational Ministry
I am currently a member of United Nations and have several writing sites of recurring criminal activity, on two main sites on my online resume located at http://www.kimberlykoerberbauerkoerberresum.weebly.com which are http://www.BornToBeMiserable.blogspot.com, and http://www.WhitecolorcopiesonlyWordPress.com.
I currently have an undergraduate degree in Social work from The Ohio State university College of Social Work in Columbus, Ohio and have experience in all areas of Social Work (resume attached), but am in stone broke poverty because of the cult which shut down the country, and the ”crime buddies” may also be Episcopal Church members.
I met my current fiancé, John C. Drilling, who is on my Facebook page, listed on my online resume, at the Salvation Army in Wooster, Ohio after the crooks ran a cult, which turned out to be President Obama’s Presidential Launch with a large group of angry blacks, some of whom from other countries, in Columbus Ohio, where I was for a long time, trying to help manage the problem. John was also a cab driver for a number of years and we lived at the Motel One, Columbus, Ohio which was part of the organized crime cartel and was owned by Asians, so got to know many other people in that area at the time. John and I have traveled around from place to place and shelter to shelter because of this, and at this time, our lives are not really progressing the way they should be, he is currently 54 years of age and I am currently 55 years of age. We have no resources and no car at this time, and are in indigent poverty and on food stamps. I am also working on an
International Peace Project, which includes an international Art site called Behance.com, which is listed on my resume, also, to encourage graffiti artists and others to create an art portfolio to them be selected to do commissioned art, like a Peace Train Project, called “Movin’On” – an art wall example done in Greensboro, NC, which could be replicated all over the country as part of the Peace Project to mark homeless centers which help people affected by the large international crime ring which people all over the world have been affected by. “Movin’ On” appears on the site also, and on Google “You Tube Videos”.
The Indigo Drum Peace Project, a government and church related project attracted some attention, and I am currently looking for a way to anchor a telemarketing/fundraising agency as a part of the Indigo Drum Peace Project called “the Indigo Drum” in a state, but have no resources and have to keep moving on when our shelter stay is over. For instance, right now, I am at the very end of my shelter stay at The House of Hope and have no definite plans about where to go or be after the 12th (which is this upcoming Sunday). Because of this cult being started in Wooster, Ohio, I was prevented from going to law school at the time, and getting involved in a Public Policy (Social Work) area, or an MPA area, in addition to going to law school. In addition to this, a crook wanted to use my Undergraduate degree to commit crimes and prevent me for attaining employment, which is still a current problem, which caused me to file a myriad of angry complaints.
In addition to being blocked from employment, I was Fulbright Eligible, with an overall GPA of ‘almost 3.4 on a 4.0 scale, and a 3.68 GPA on a 4.0 scale in my major area. I have a small federal loan in default, but worked at United Parcel Service, Columbus, Ohio during the time I was in college most of the time, and so have a small, but existent debt, which prevents me from attaining any more loans.
I am an excellent field analyst and writer, a cartoonist, play classical piano and I know that my work has the ability to impact people and congregations, and I have an expertise area which the invention of the Peace project that I would like to expand and amplify, but currently have no role in or with the church, am transient, and would like to be more effective on the grassroots level. I have been an Episcopalian since kindergarten, and was an acolyte in high school. I would appreciate your taking time to review The Indigo Drum Peace Project (which I know has some spelling errors on Born To Be Miserable and which I have not had time to correct as of this writing). Since I have been traveling around with my fiancé, I have visited many Episcopal Churches, and have interfaced with many people and many government areas, and my reference list (attached) lists the rector in Columbus, Ohio, at Trinity Episcopal Church, 3rd and Broad Streets, Columbus, Ohio. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. My cell phone which is a free government cell phone, currently at this writing has no minutes, but will renew of the 12th of January, and is 336-458-6131. My fiancés cell phone number is (828) 238-0819 and/or (336) 210-6112. At this point in time, probably the best way to reach me is via my email address at Google, which is email@example.com. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon and discussing any questions you have about me or the project in more detail. Thanks very much, and Happy New Year!
Very truly yours,
P.S.- Although the Dean of The College of Ohio State University has changed since I graduated, and the President of The Ohio State
University, Dr. Gordon Gee has moved to a new post in West Virginia, I had positive relationships with both of them and could use either or both as references. In the Dean’s case, I went to a NASW conference in Washington, D.C. with his wife on the plane and paid for the conference, and In Dr. Gee’s case, I met him in person and corresponded with him many times in regard to problems that had to do with Ohio State university, – for instance a hostile takeover of Laotians at the ATI branch of The Ohio State University in Wooster, Ohio and the resultant problems.